I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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