Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
