big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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