He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
