Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
