im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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