Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
