can we get nightvision for the apartment?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
