why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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