So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
