plz talk dirty to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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