who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize