CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
