What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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