Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
