Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
