Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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