i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
