Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
