your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
