Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
