sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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