Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
