So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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