Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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