Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
