dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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