So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
