porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
