last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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