You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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