what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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