You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
