I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
