i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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