"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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