Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
