i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
