well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
