party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
