I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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