Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
