we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
