A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
