the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
