Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
