I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
