Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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