Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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