i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
