so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it glows. i had to have it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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