my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
not ubering you a puppy
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
